Irregardless Magazine

» » Stuff and Nonsense « «

My College Admission Essay (I didn’t get in)

The following is the essay I wrote along with my college applications. Each school provided essay prompts ranging from ‘write about a person in your life who inspired you’ to ‘discuss a time in your life in which you faced a challenge you had to overcome’, but they also gave the applicant an opportunity to write about a topic in which they care about most. I cared about cheese. I did not get into any of the schools I applied to.

Cheese. It has captured our hearts and plagued our minds for millennia. It still baffles top scientists today how something so foul smelling can be so delicious. Since the beginning of time cheese, or the Latin: cheeseus maximus, has been known as the forbidden dairy. Even the most experienced of food connoisseurs are seduced by the power cheese.

Religion is perhaps where cheese developed the most. In Christianity the founding of cheese is credited to Adam. It is said that one day Adam asked God for a glass of milk (another wonderful dairy product), but was distracted before he could finish, by the creation of Eve. A month later he returned to that spot where he asked God for a glass of milk, but there was no glass of milk. Oh, No! There was, sitting there, a perfect wedge of cheeseus maximus.

Cheese was also present during the times of Jesus. During Jesus’s Last Supper one of the popular dishes was Swiss Cheese. Seeing as Swiss Cheese is holey, scholars today think that it was once considered holy.

From cheese’s not so humble beginnings it has only become greater. Cheese is in almost every aspect of pop culture today; be it restaurants, books or even television. One of the most popular children’s restaurants is Chuck E. Cheese’s. This fine establishment is dedicated to all of the great foods who are only made better by cheese. Then there is the popular novel I Am the Cheese by Robert Cormier. Clearly the protagonist stood alone, much like cheese in its greatness.

Clearly like wine and women, cheese only gets better with age. This porous delight has been with us since the beginning and will be with us until the end. It is the lactose intolerant that need to be remembered, though. To go throughout life without that which enriches life so much, is truly sacrifice.